
Discernment Counselling for Couples on the Brink of Divorce
What is Discernment Counselling? Navigate Ambivalence and Find Clarity
Discernment Counselling is a specialised, short-term therapy designed to support couples who feel uncertain about the future of their relationship. It is particularly suited for mixed-agenda couples—where one spousal partner is leaning out, considering separation, while the other is leaning in, hoping to repair and rebuild the trust in the marriage.
Unlike traditional couples therapy, which focuses on resolving issues, Discernment Counselling helps you and your partner make a thoughtful decision about your marital relationship. It’s about creating a safe, structured space to reflect, understand, and evaluate your options.
Imagine this: Sitting down with your partner in a judgement-free environment, where both of you can explore your feelings and perspectives without blame. Discernment Counselling allows you to step back from the turmoil and focus on gaining clarity and confidence in your next steps.
Couples explore three potential pathways during Discernment Counselling:
- Postpone the decision and stay as you are.
- Move toward divorce with greater understanding and respect.
- Commit to reconciliation, dedicating six months to working on the relationship.
By focusing on understanding each partner’s contributions to the relationship dynamics and the root causes of challenges, Discernment Counselling empowers couples to make an informed choice about their future.
How Does Discernment Counselling Work?
A Structured Journey Towards Clarity
Step 1: Individual Conversations
- Reflect privately on your goals, concerns, and contributions to the relationship.
- Understand your personal role in the challenges faced.
Step 2: Joint Sessions
- Sit together with your partner to discuss your relationship dynamics.
- Explore your options with a clear, actionable framework.
- Decide on the next steps: stay, separate, or reconcile.
By engaging both partners individually and together, Discernment Counselling ensures that each voice is heard, and mutual understanding is achieved.
Why Choose Discernment Counselling?
Feel the Difference
- Clarity: Gain a clear understanding of your feelings and the dynamics of your relationship.
- Confidence: Make informed decisions with the guidance of a skilled counsellor.
- Respect: Explore differences in a compassionate, non-judgemental environment.
- Support: Navigate this emotional journey with structure and care.
Discernment Counselling is ideal for couples who:
- Feel stuck in indecision about whether to stay together or part ways.
- Have one partner considering divorce while the other wishes to work on the relationship.
- Seek clarity and direction in a compassionate, non-judgemental setting.
Meet Karl, Your Discernment Counsellor
Karl DeSouza, Director and Lead Psychotherapist at Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., has years of experience helping couples navigate life’s toughest decisions. His compassionate and culturally sensitive approach provides a safe space for couples to find clarity and move forward. Learn more about Karl here.
Take the First Step Today
Imagine walking away from confusion and stepping into clarity. At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., we’re here to guide you through this important journey.
Don’t let indecision hold you back. Book your Discernment Counselling session now and take control of your future.Book an appointment today and take the first step toward clarity, healing, and a brighter tomorrow.
How Is Discernment Counselling Different from Divorce Counselling?
Discernment Counselling and Divorce Counselling have distinct goals and approaches, tailored to meet couples and individuals at different stages of their relationship journey. Here’s how they differ:
1. Purpose:
- Discernment Counselling focuses on decision-making. It is for couples who are uncertain about the future of their relationship and need clarity on whether to reconcile, separate, or postpone a decision.
- Divorce Counselling supports individuals or couples who have already decided to separate. It provides guidance to heal, adjust, and rebuild life after the decision to divorce has been made. Learn more about Divorce Counselling here.
2. Focus Areas:
- Discernment Counselling helps couples explore their ambivalence, understand relationship dynamics, and identify each partner’s contributions to the current challenges. The focus is on gaining insight, not solving problems.
- Divorce Counselling addresses post-decision challenges such as coping with grief, building co-parenting strategies, and rediscovering personal identity. It equips clients with practical tools to move forward confidently.
3. Emotional Approach:
- In Discernment Counselling, the emphasis is on creating a neutral and supportive space where both partners can explore their feelings and perspectives without judgement or pressure.
- Divorce Counselling focuses on processing emotions like grief, guilt, or anger, while helping clients rebuild their sense of self and work toward emotional resilience.
4. Outcomes:
- Discernment Counselling helps couples decide on their next steps—whether to reconcile, separate, or delay the decision.
- Divorce Counselling works toward emotional recovery, creating healthy co-parenting relationships, and preparing for a hopeful future.
Specialised Couples and Marriage Counselling Services: Tackling Contributory Issues
Sometimes, the path forward isn’t clear. Our marital guidance services offer tools to help couples navigate communication breakdowns, resolve conflicts, and evaluate their options. Whether you’re working to reconcile with your partner or contemplating separation, we provide a safe, non-judgemental space to find clarity and healing.
For couples dealing with challenges such as infidelity, rebuilding trust is a significant part of the process. Our infidelity counselling sessions delve into the root causes of betrayal, helping you and your partner explore emotional wounds, rebuild trust, and create a stronger foundation for the future.
Relational issues like intimacy and emotional disconnection may also point to deeper concerns that need addressing. Our sex therapy services help couples explore and resolve challenges surrounding intimacy, fostering deeper understanding and connection.
Additionally, issues such as addiction—whether substance-related or behavioural—can create significant strain in relationships. Our addiction counselling sessions focus on understanding the root causes of addiction, supporting recovery, and helping couples address the impact on their relationship.
Using evidence-based approaches like the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), we address relational issues, including communication, conflict resolution, and shared goals. For those seeking to explore reconciliation, our marriage counselling services provide the space to rebuild trust and foster a healthier relationship dynamic.
Hence while discerning and deciding whether to stay or go it can be useful to address any underlying challenges like intimacy, sex or other addictions or infidelity, or traumas. Whatever the issue we’re here to support you every step of the way.
Contact us today to take the first step toward clarity and healing.You don’t have to face this alone. Book an appointment today and take the first step toward clarity, healing, and a brighter tomorrow.
Therapeutic Approaches in Discernment Counselling?
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., we know that no two couples are the same. That’s why our Discernment Counselling sessions are designed to be tailored to your unique needs, pace, and situation. There’s no “one-size-fits-all” approach; every session is a custom plan that reflects your emotional state, relationship dynamics, and individual challenges.
Here are the key approaches we use, each adapted to suit you:
1. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT)
EFCT helps uncover and address emotional responses and attachment patterns that shape your relationship.
- How It’s Tailored: EFCT provides insight into hidden fears and unmet needs, fostering better understanding and connection.
- At Your Pace: Sessions progress gradually to create a safe environment for exploring vulnerable emotions and attachment dynamics.
2. The Gottman Method
This evidence-based approach offers a clear roadmap for identifying strengths and challenges in your relationship.
- How It’s Tailored: The Gottman Relationship Checkup ensures that interventions focus on your specific areas of concern, whether it’s communication, conflict resolution, or emotional connection.
- At Your Pace: Solutions are introduced step by step, allowing couples to address issues without feeling rushed or overwhelmed.
3. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps manage stress, anxiety, and negative thought patterns during decision-making.
- How It’s Tailored: For those struggling with emotional overwhelm or reactive behaviours, CBT builds practical tools for constructive problem-solving.
- At Your Pace: Techniques are introduced gradually, giving you the time to reflect and apply them effectively.
4. Trauma-Focused Approaches
For couples navigating relational trauma, therapies like EMDR, Brainspotting, and Somatic Experiencing provide critical emotional support.
- How It’s Tailored: Trauma-focused methods are used when emotional wounds (e.g., from infidelity or prolonged conflict) impact clarity and decision-making.
- At Your Pace: Sessions ensure emotional safety by progressing at a rate that avoids overwhelm while promoting healing.
5. Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
NVC fosters understanding and collaboration by promoting empathetic dialogue.
- How It’s Tailored: NVC helps address miscommunication and blame, encouraging both partners to express their needs respectfully.
- At Your Pace: Communication tools are introduced carefully to build trust and reduce conflict.
6. Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation
Mindfulness techniques are invaluable for navigating the stress and emotions of decision-making.
- How It’s Tailored: Practices like breathing exercises, gentle yoga, and emotional awareness techniques are introduced to help manage anxiety and foster clarity.
- At Your Pace: Exercises are simple, adaptable, and designed to fit your lifestyle and comfort level.
Our Philosophy: A Customised Approach for Every Couple
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy, we believe that Discernment Counselling is about crafting a personalised plan that reflects your unique circumstances. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, just as there’s no single dance or music that suits everyone. Instead, we:
- Respect your individual and shared emotional needs.
- Align the counselling process with your relationship dynamics.
- Move at a pace that feels right for you.
With Karl deSouza guiding you through this process, you’ll receive compassionate, professional support to make informed and confident decisions.
How to Get Started with Discernment Counselling.
Starting your journey with discernment counselling, at Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd. is simple and personalised to meet your unique needs. Follow these steps to begin:
Reach Out
Email Karl at admin@listeningearclinic.com or WhatsApp +65 89502162 to share your needs, challenges, and preferences. You can also visit our Contact Us page to send us a message.Initial Discussion
We’ll have a brief discussion to understand your focus areas, emotional challenges, and practical needs. Whether you’re in the pre-divorce stage, exploring discernment counselling, or navigating separation, this call will ensure suitability and answer any questions. You can choose between in-person or virtual sessions to suit your convenience.Confirm Your Session
Once details are finalised, make your payment securely via our Payment Page or review the session costs and options on our Counselling Fees & Payment page. After payment, send a screenshot of the transaction to confirm your appointment.Session Day
After payment is confirmed, you’ll receive forms to complete before your session. On the scheduled day, we’ll meet either:- In-Person: At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy, International Plaza, Singapore.
- Virtual: Via Zoom for greater flexibility and convenience.
Flexible, Supportive Process
We understand the demands of navigating divorce and separation. Flexible session options, including after-hours and online support, are available to accommodate your needs.
Investment
Session Type | Investment | Additional Charges | Cancellation Policy |
---|---|---|---|
In-Person | SGD 250 | SGD 50 after-hours surcharge | Reschedule or cancel with 36+ hours’ notice. Late changes incur full fees. |
Virtual (Zoom) | SGD 200 (PayNow), SGD 250 (Other) | SGD 50 after-hours surcharge | Same as above. |
This structured and supportive process ensures a smooth start to your counselling journey, whether you’re exploring discernment counselling, navigating separation therapy, or rebuilding through divorce counselling.
Contact us today to take the first step toward clarity, healing, and a brighter future.
Other Counselling Services You May Be Interested In
1. Individual Counselling
Individual counselling provides a private and supportive environment where clients can explore personal challenges and their feelings. It is tailored to help individuals understand themselves better, resolve conflicts, and promote personal growth and healing.
2. Marriage Counselling
Marriage/couples counseling provides a space for partners to explore relationship challenges and enhance communication with the help of a skilled therapist. It’s designed to strengthen bonds, resolve conflicts, and foster a deeper understanding between partners.
3. Family Counselling
Family counseling at Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte Ltd uses Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) to strengthen bonds, enhance attachment, and foster harmony within the family unit.
4. LGBTQ
Individual counselling provides a private and supportive environment where clients can explore personal challenges and their feelings. It is tailored to help individuals understand themselves better, resolve conflicts, and promote personal growth and healing.
5. Addiction
For addiction counseling, we focus on understanding and overcoming specific dependencies such as alcohol, drugs, and behavioral addictions, guiding individuals through recovery to achieve sustained freedom from addiction.
Why Choose Us for Discernment Counselling?
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., we understand that deciding the future of a relationship is one of the most challenging emotional decisions you can face. Our approach provides a neutral, compassionate, and structured space, allowing you to reflect and explore your feelings without judgement or pressure. Led by Karl deSouza, our sessions are designed to help couples gain clarity and confidence about their next steps.
1. A Neutral and Safe Space with an Experienced Guide
Discernment Counselling requires an experienced counsellor who can guide you without influencing your decisions. At Listening Ear, Karl deSouza brings over 20 years of professional experience to create a judgement-free and empathetic environment. This ensures that:
- Both partners feel heard and respected, whether one is leaning out or the other is leaning in.
- The counselling process remains neutral, focusing on clarity rather than persuasion.
- Sessions provide the tools to regulate emotions, sift through complex feelings, and reflect on your unique perspectives.
Our goal is to help you explore your relationship dynamics, identify personal contributions, and consider the next steps—whether it’s staying together, separating, or postponing a decision.
2. Accredited Family Mediator with Holistic Insight
As an Accredited Family Mediator with the Singapore Mediation Centre (SMC), Karl deSouza combines his expertise in legal, emotional, and relational dynamics to:
- Support you in navigating the practical challenges of decision-making, such as co-parenting and communication.
- Provide insights that prepare you for collaboration with legal professionals, should separation be the chosen path.
This holistic approach ensures that your emotional well-being and practical concerns are addressed simultaneously.
3. Expertise in Navigating Emotional Complexity
Discernment Counselling often intersects with deeply personal and emotional challenges. At Listening Ear, we draw on a range of evidence-based modalities to address:
- Infidelity Counselling and the complexities of rebuilding trust.
- Grief and loss Counselling that arise from relational transitions.
- Trauma and unresolved emotional wounds.
- Relational and physical disconnection, addressed through sex therapy.
With training in approaches such as The Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), and trauma-focused methods like EMDR, Brainspotting, and Somatic Experiencing, Karl ensures every session is tailored to meet your unique needs.
4. Cultural Sensitivity and Life Experience
Singapore’s multicultural fabric shapes relationships in unique ways. Karl’s sensitivity to cultural values, family dynamics, and gender identities ensures that every client feels understood and respected. Coupled with his extensive life experience, he offers a nuanced perspective on the complex emotions and practical realities couples face when discerning their next steps.
5. Confidential, Personalised, and Flexible Support
Your comfort is our priority. At Listening Ear, we provide:
- A safe and confidential space for honest conversations.
- Flexible session options: in-person or via Zoom, with an SGD 50 discount for remote consultations.
Whether you’re at a crossroads or ready to make a decision, our support is tailored to meet your emotional and practical needs.
Take the First Step Today
Discernment Counselling at Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd. empowers you to make one of life’s most significant decisions with clarity and confidence. Whether you choose reconciliation or separation, our compassionate and experienced approach ensures you feel supported every step of the way.
Learn more about our philosophy and approach on our About Us page.
Don’t wait. Book your session today and take the first step toward clarity.
Contact us here.
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Registered Trained Counsellor with Extensive Experience in Individuals, Couples and Families
Accredited Family Mediator Bridging the Legal and Psychological Gap
Expertise in Complex Emotional Dynamics and Modalities
Cultural and Gender Sensitivity
and Life Experiences
Confidential and Non Judgmental Accessible Supportive Space with Flexible Options
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What Clients Say About Us
Frequently Asked Questions
Discernment Counselling stands apart from traditional couples therapy by focusing on clarity and decision-making, rather than directly working on relationship repair. At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., we guide couples through a neutral, structured process to:
- Clarify intentions when one or both partners feel uncertain.
- Explore options, including reconciliation, separation, or postponing a decision.
- Understand each partner’s role in the current relationship challenges.
Unlike traditional therapy, which prioritises resolving issues and fostering intimacy, Discernment Counselling creates the space, support, and tools needed to make thoughtful and informed decisions.
Our counsellor, Karl deSouza, brings over 20 years of experience and a compassionate approach to help couples feel supported at every step of the journey.
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy, we pride ourselves on providing a safe, non-judgemental environment. Whether you prefer in-person sessions at our convenient Singapore clinic or online consultations, we’re here to offer the care and guidance you need.
Discernment Counselling is a short-term process, typically lasting 1 to 5 sessions. Each session is designed to provide value and clarity, giving couples the space to explore their emotions and options without pressure.
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy, every session is tailored to your unique situation, ensuring you gain insights and confidence in your choices. Learn more about how Karl deSouza can support your discernment journey.
Yes, you can attend Discernment Counselling on your own. Solo sessions allow you to:
- Gain clarity about your role in the relationship dynamics.
- Reflect on your emotions and contributions.
- Explore your options independently.
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy, we offer a safe and neutral space to help individuals navigate this process with compassion and understanding.
If you and your partner decide that separation or divorce is the best path, our counsellor, Karl deSouza, will help you plan a collaborative and respectful separation. This includes:
- Addressing co-parenting strategies if children are involved.
- Minimising conflict to ensure smoother transitions.
- Emotional support to navigate the challenges of uncoupling.
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy, we focus on helping you part ways with dignity while prioritising the well-being of your family.
Yes, free or subsidised Discernment Counselling services are available through the MSF Family Services Directory. These options can provide initial support for couples navigating ambivalence.
For tailored and specialised Discernment Counselling, Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy offers flexible and accessible support, including discounted Zoom sessions, to meet your needs.