Addiction Victim – Emotional Turmoil for Child
Introduction
The stability of a home and the reliability of attachment figures, especially primary caregivers, are crucial for a child’s development. Unfortunately, addiction can wreak havoc on these foundational elements, causing a cascade of emotional turmoil and instability. The betrayal of trust, grief, anger, and constant conflict between adult family members in codependent roles and the addict creates a volatile environment.
An addict might be unavailable during addiction bouts, and the codependent partner may oscillate between anxiety, waiting for the addict’s return, and rage, stemming from a sense of loss of control and helplessness. These dynamics often lead to constant fights, which are witnessed by children, especially during their most vulnerable years (ages 0-6 and teenage years). Additionally, if a parent gets drunk and gets into trouble with the law, it can cause significant shame and embarrassment for the child. This exposure can significantly impact their attachment style, patterns, and neural pathways, leading to suppressed rage or adapted avoidant behaviors.
Impact on Attachment Styles
Secure Attachment: In a stable environment, children develop a secure attachment, feeling safe and supported. However, the instability caused by addiction can disrupt this development, making it difficult for children to trust and form healthy relationships.
Anxious Attachment: Children who constantly witness conflict may develop an anxious attachment style, characterized by clinginess and fear of abandonment. They may become excessively dependent on others for validation and support.
Avoidant Attachment: When primary caregivers are emotionally unavailable or neglectful due to addiction, children might develop an avoidant attachment style. They may become overly independent and emotionally distant, avoiding close relationships to protect themselves from potential pain.
Disorganized Attachment: In extreme cases where there is abuse or severe neglect, children may develop a disorganized attachment style. This is characterized by a lack of coherent strategy in relationships, leading to unpredictable and erratic behaviors. These children might oscillate between approach and avoidance, feeling both frightened of and drawn to their caregivers.
Our Approach to Healing
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., we use a comprehensive approach to address the emotional turmoil caused by addiction within families. Our therapies aim to create a safe, supportive environment where healing can begin. Here’s how we do it:
Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT): This approach helps repair attachment wounds and fosters connection within the family. EFFT is particularly useful for rebuilding trust and emotional bonds, essential for recovery.
Non-Violent Communication (NVC): NVC enhances empathetic and effective communication within the family. This approach fosters understanding and compassion, helping family members express their needs and feelings without judgment or criticism.
Narrative Therapy: This therapy assists clients in identifying and deconstructing dominant narratives that may be limiting their lives. It helps in constructing alternative, empowering stories that align with their true identity and experiences.
Solution-Focused Therapy: This therapy focuses on clients’ present and future goals rather than past experiences. Techniques like the Miracle Question help clients envision their desired outcomes and create actionable steps to achieve them.
Satir Method: This approach focuses on achieving congruence in communication and behavior, helping clients become more authentic and integrated, improving their self-esteem and relationships.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT): These therapies challenge and change unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors, addressing anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues related to addiction.
Dynamic Attachment Re-patterning Experience (DARE): DARE focuses on healing childhood attachment wounds, helping clients develop healthier attachment patterns and improve their relationships.
Creating a Safe Space
In therapy sessions, our therapists act as temporary secure attachment figures, providing a safe and stable environment for children and families to explore their emotions and experiences. This secure base allows for the processing of suppressed rage and other complex feelings, facilitating healing and growth.
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., we are dedicated to supporting families through the challenges of addiction, helping them rebuild their lives and create a future filled with hope and possibility.