Addiction – Alcohol Dependence & Recovery
Time to Rethink Addiction
Addiction remains a common yet widely misunderstood health condition, often surrounded by stigma that prevents individuals from seeking help. Many people mistakenly believe addiction is purely a matter of willpower. In reality, alcohol dependence is a complex illness that affects both the individual and their loved ones. At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte Ltd, we focus on breaking down these misconceptions and offer effective, compassionate support for those on their recovery journey.
Introduction
Alcohol is commonly used in social settings as a way to lower inhibitions and gather the courage to engage with others. In moderation, it can seem harmless, and many people rely on alcohol to feel more relaxed or confident when socialising. However, there is a fine line between moderate use and misuse. When alcohol becomes a tool to mask anxiety or avoid difficult emotions, the risk of developing a dependency increases.
At Listening Ear, we recognise that alcohol dependence doesn’t exist in isolation and often stems from deeper emotional or psychological struggles. Whether it’s stress from life pressures, unresolved trauma, or feelings of emptiness, alcohol can become a way to cope with inner turmoil. We are committed to supporting individuals, couples, and families through comprehensive, trauma-informed care. While we do not offer inpatient or rehab services, our counselling is designed to guide you through recovery and provide the necessary tools to reclaim control over your life.
What is a Drinking Problem?
A “drinking problem” is not an official medical diagnosis but is often used to describe someone who misuses alcohol. A person with a drinking problem may or may not meet the criteria for an alcohol use disorder. In some cases, individuals who recognise the negative impact alcohol is having on their life may be able to reduce or quit drinking on their own. However, if you’ve ever promised yourself that you wouldn’t drink again after a particularly heavy session, only to find yourself drinking again a few days later, you may be struggling with an alcohol use disorder.
Alcohol abuse, defined as any “harmful use” of alcohol, is a key indicator of a drinking problem. Whether or not this progresses to alcohol dependence or a more severe alcohol use disorder (AUD) depends on individual circumstances. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), your drinking may be considered risky if:
- For men: You consume five or more drinks on a single occasion or more than 14 drinks in a week.
- For women: You consume four or more drinks on a single occasion or more than seven drinks in a week.
Alcohol as a Social Lubricant
Alcohol is often used in social settings to help people feel less inhibited, especially in situations that may cause anxiety or discomfort. Whether it’s used to gather the courage to speak to someone at a party or to feel more at ease in unfamiliar environments, alcohol serves as a quick fix for social anxiety. While moderate drinking may seem relatively harmless, it can become problematic when relied upon regularly to navigate social interactions. Over time, this reliance can lead to excessive use and eventually to Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD).
The Role of Genetics in Alcoholism
Alcoholism is not just about poor control or moral weakness. Research shows that genetics play a significant role in determining one’s vulnerability to alcohol dependence. If a parent or close relative has struggled with alcohol, your risk of developing the same problem is higher. This isn’t a question of willpower; it’s about how your brain and body process alcohol differently.
Once alcohol enters your system, it affects the brain’s reward centres, making you crave more to achieve the same effects. For those genetically predisposed to alcoholism, the brain’s “brake” that controls alcohol consumption becomes weakened, making it much harder to stop drinking once you’ve started.
A Progressive Disease That Doesn’t “Wash Away”
Alcoholism is a progressive illness, meaning it gets worse over time. It doesn’t “wash away” or resolve on its own, even with periods of sobriety. The body and brain develop a tolerance to alcohol, requiring more to achieve the same effects, and with this comes physical dependence. The more one drinks, the greater the damage to the brain’s ability to regulate drinking, creating a cycle that becomes harder to break.
Even those who manage to stop drinking without addressing the underlying emotional or psychological wounds may experience what’s known as a “dry drunk”—a state where the person is sober but continues to exhibit the same unhealthy behaviours, emotional instability, and relationship difficulties that existed during active drinking.
The Cunning and Baffling Nature of Alcoholism
Alcoholism is often described as a “cunning and baffling disease” because it can be hard to spot at first and can progress quietly. What begins as social drinking can turn into a destructive pattern over time. The disease “tricks” you into believing you can control it, that you’ll only have a couple of drinks, but it always pulls you back into the cycle of misuse.
For many, alcohol is rooted in unprocessed emotional pain and attachment wounds. Whether it’s a sense of emptiness, unresolved childhood trauma, or an inability to cope with stress, alcohol becomes a way to numb the discomfort. However, alcohol doesn’t fill the emptiness; it merely covers it up temporarily, leading to deeper emotional and psychological consequences.
Types of Drinking Behaviour
It’s important to understand the different types of drinking behaviour that can indicate a problem:
Social Drinking: Drinking socially, often in moderation, during gatherings or events. While not inherently harmful, social drinking can lead to excessive consumption when combined with stress or peer pressure.
Binge Drinking: Defined as consuming large amounts of alcohol in a short period. For women, this is typically four or more drinks in one sitting, and for men, it is five or more. This behaviour can lead to impaired judgment, accidents, and long-term health issues.
Heavy Drinking: Frequent consumption of alcohol above the recommended limits. Men who consume more than 14 drinks per week and women who consume more than seven are considered heavy drinkers. This increases the risk of developing alcohol dependence.
Alcohol Dependence: This occurs when individuals need alcohol to function and experience withdrawal symptoms if they don’t drink. It involves both physical and psychological dependence on alcohol.
What is Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD)?
Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) is a chronic, relapsing condition in which an individual is unable to control their alcohol consumption, despite the negative consequences it may cause in their life. AUD can range from mild to severe, depending on the individual’s relationship with alcohol. The disorder is characterised by a combination of physical dependence (tolerance and withdrawal symptoms), psychological cravings, and behavioural patterns such as drinking more than intended or continuing to drink despite negative impacts.
Signs of AUD include:
- Drinking more than intended
- Unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use
- A significant amount of time spent drinking or recovering from its effects
- Cravings for alcohol
- Continued alcohol use despite problems at work, school, or in relationships
AUD is progressive, meaning that without intervention, the condition worsens over time. Treatment and recovery are possible, but they often require professional help, support systems, and long-term commitment.
Symptoms of Alcohol Withdrawal
When someone with alcohol dependence stops or reduces their drinking, they may experience withdrawal symptoms. These symptoms can range from mild discomfort to severe, life-threatening conditions. Common symptoms of alcohol withdrawal include:
- Shaking or Tremors: Uncontrollable shaking, usually of the hands, is a common withdrawal symptom.
- Anxiety and Agitation: Feelings of restlessness, irritability, and heightened anxiety.
- Nausea and Vomiting: Many people experience digestive issues when withdrawing from alcohol.
- Sweating and Increased Heart Rate: Profuse sweating and a racing heart are common.
- Insomnia: Difficulty sleeping or disrupted sleep patterns.
- Hallucinations: In severe cases, people may experience visual, auditory, or tactile hallucinations.
- Seizures: Withdrawal can result in seizures, particularly in cases of heavy dependence.
- Delirium Tremens (DTs): In the most severe cases, individuals may experience confusion, disorientation, and hallucinations, which can be life-threatening.
Consequences of Alcoholism
Alcoholism, or alcohol use disorder (AUD), has wide-ranging physical, psychological, and social consequences:
Physical Health Consequences
- Liver Damage: Long-term alcohol use can cause liver diseases like fatty liver, cirrhosis, and liver failure.
- Kidney Damage: Alcohol impairs kidney function, leading to kidney disease over time.
- Heart Disease: Excessive drinking increases blood pressure and the risk of heart disease and stroke.
- Erectile Dysfunction and Premature Ejaculation: Alcohol initially acts as a stimulant, lowering inhibitions, but prolonged use causes reduced sexual performance, including erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.
- Weakened Immune System: Chronic alcohol use weakens the body’s ability to fight off infections.
- Cancer: Long-term alcohol use raises the risk of cancers, especially liver and breast cancer.
Psychological Consequences
- Depression and Anxiety: Alcohol is a depressant, often exacerbating underlying mental health conditions, leading to a worsening cycle of misuse.
- Memory and Cognitive Impairment: Long-term alcohol use can result in memory loss, reduced cognitive function, and an increased risk of dementia.
- Emotional Instability: Alcohol misuse can lead to emotional volatility, impaired decision-making, and increased irritability or aggression.
Social Consequences
- Family Impact: Alcoholism creates significant strain on relationships. Children of alcoholics may suffer from emotional neglect or experience trauma. Spouses may struggle with trust, communication, and co-dependency.
- Work and Financial Problems: Alcohol misuse can lead to job loss, poor performance at work, and financial instability.
- Legal and Social Issues: Driving under the influence, public intoxication, and other alcohol-related crimes can result in legal trouble.
Couples Counselling for Alcoholism
Alcoholism doesn’t only affect the individual—it can severely strain relationships. Couples counselling at Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte Ltd offers a supportive space where partners can address the impact of alcohol dependence on their relationship. Common issues addressed include:
- Communication Breakdown: Alcohol misuse often leads to poor communication, emotional distance, and misunderstandings between partners.
- Trust Issues: Alcoholism can erode trust within a relationship, leading to feelings of betrayal and resentment.
- Co-Dependency: Some partners develop a co-dependent relationship with the person struggling with alcohol, exacerbating unhealthy patterns.
Counselling focuses on developing healthier communication strategies, setting boundaries, and rebuilding trust. Partners are also supported in understanding the role they can play in recovery without enabling destructive behaviour.
Family Counselling and the Impact on Children
Family counselling helps all members understand the nature of addiction and its effects. Alcoholism is often described as a “family disease” because it disrupts family dynamics. Children of alcoholics, in particular, may face long-term emotional challenges, including anxiety, low self-esteem, and difficulty forming healthy relationships.
Impact Checklist for Adult Children of Alcoholics:
- Do you avoid conflict or have difficulty expressing emotions?
- Are you overly responsible or a perfectionist?
- Do you struggle with trust in relationships?
- Have you developed unhealthy coping mechanisms, like substance misuse or emotional withdrawal?
Addressing these issues through family therapy helps break the cycle of dysfunction and promotes healthier, more supportive family dynamics.
What Happens in a Counselling Session at Listening Ear?
Individual Sessions:
- Screening and Assessment: The first step involves assessing the extent of the drinking problem, identifying triggers, and developing a treatment plan. Assessments may include the use of the AUDIT and other screening tools to understand drinking patterns and related health concerns.
- Treatment Planning: Following the assessment, a treatment plan is developed, focusing on the client’s individual needs. We explore coping strategies, underlying emotional issues, and attachment wounds that might have contributed to alcohol misuse.
Partner/Spouse Sessions:
- Couples Counselling: Partners are involved in therapy to discuss how alcohol has impacted the relationship, communication challenges, and how to support recovery while establishing healthy boundaries.
Family Sessions:
- Family Counselling: Alcoholism affects everyone in the family. Family sessions include partners and children, helping to restore communication, rebuild trust, and address the emotional effects of living with someone struggling with alcohol misuse.
The 12-Step Model
The 12-step model, integral to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), serves as a structured approach to recovery. It emphasises acknowledging the problem, seeking help, making amends, and continuous personal growth. AA provides a community of support, encouraging individuals to share their experiences and progress, holding each other accountable throughout their recovery journey.
For more information on the 12-step model, visit the Alcoholics Anonymous website. You can also explore the Al-Anon Family Groups website for support tailored to families and friends of alcoholics.
Self-Assessment Tools for Drinking Problems
There are many short screening tests available online that can help you assess whether you have a drinking problem. While these tools can provide helpful insights, they are no substitute for professional medical advice. Some commonly used self-assessments include:
- MAST (Michigan Alcohol Screening Test): This 22-question yes/no test flags a potential drinking problem if you answer “yes” to six or more questions.
- AUDIT (Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test): Considered one of the most reliable tools, this 10-question test scores responses to indicate whether your drinking behaviour is problematic.
- FAST Test: A four-question assessment designed to screen for hazardous drinking, especially in emergency or urgent care settings.
- CAGE Questionnaire: A four-question test used by healthcare providers to determine whether further evaluation is necessary.
FAQ Section
1. What is alcoholism?
Alcoholism, also called alcohol use disorder (AUD), is a chronic, progressive illness in which an individual cannot control their drinking despite negative consequences.
2. Is alcoholism genetic?
Yes, genetics can play a significant role. If a parent or close relative struggled with alcohol, your risk of developing alcoholism is higher.
3. Can alcoholism be cured?
While there is no “cure” for alcoholism, it can be managed effectively through therapy, support groups, and lifestyle changes.
4. What is a dry drunk?
A dry drunk refers to someone who has stopped drinking but continues to exhibit unhealthy behaviours, emotional instability, and relationship difficulties that were present during active alcohol use.
5. How does alcoholism affect families?
Alcoholism impacts family dynamics, often leading to emotional stress, communication breakdowns, and co-dependency. Children of alcoholics may develop long-term emotional issues.
6. What happens in a counselling session?
Sessions focus on assessing the problem, identifying triggers, developing coping strategies, and working through underlying emotional issues such as trauma and attachment wounds.
7. What are the 12 steps in AA?
The 12 steps focus on admitting the problem, seeking help, making amends, and personal growth. You can learn more on the AA website.
8. What self-assessment tests can I take?
You can take the
- MAST (Michigan Alcohol Screening Test):
- AUDIT (Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test): FAST Test:
- CAGE Questionnaire:
Reaching Out for Help
If you or a loved one is struggling with alcohol dependence, seeking help is the first step. At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte Ltd, we provide compassionate, personalised care to help individuals and their families navigate recovery. Contact us via email, phone, or WhatsApp to arrange a session with one of our trained therapists.