Discernment Counselling Singapore
A space to pause, reflect, and choose
What is Discernment Counselling? Navigate Ambivalence and Find Clarity
Discernment Counselling for Couples on the Brink of Divorce
Discernment Counselling is a specialised, short-term therapy designed to support couples who feel uncertain about the future of their relationship. It is particularly suited for mixed-agenda couples—where one spousal partner is leaning out, considering separation, while the other is leaning in, hoping to repair and rebuild the trust in the marriage.
Unlike traditional couples therapy, which focuses on resolving issues, Discernment Counselling helps you and your partner make a thoughtful decision about your marital relationship. It’s about creating a safe, structured space to reflect, understand, and evaluate your options.
What Happens in Discernment Counselling?
Imagine sitting down with your partner in a judgement-free environment where both of you can explore your feelings without blame. Discernment Counselling allows you to pause the conflict and gain clarity on your next steps.
Couples explore three potential pathways during Discernment Counselling:
Postpone the decision and stay as you are.
Move toward divorce with greater understanding and respect.
Commit to reconciliation, dedicating six months to working on the relationship.
The counselling focuses on understanding each partner’s contributions to the relationship dynamics and the root causes of challenges. The goal is not to “solve” the relationship, but to help you both reach a clear, informed decision.
Unlike traditional couples therapy, which focuses on resolving issues, Discernment Counselling helps you and your partner make a thoughtful decision about your marital relationship. It’s about creating a safe, structured space to reflect, understand, and evaluate your options.
How Does Discernment Counselling Work?
Step 1: Individual Conversations
Reflect privately on your goals, concerns, and contributions to the relationship
Understand your personal role in the challenges faced
Step 2: Joint Sessions
Discuss your relationship dynamics with your partner and counsellor
Explore your options within a clear, supportive framework
Decide on the next step: stay, separate, or reconcile
This dual approach ensures that each voice is heard while moving toward mutual understanding.
Why Choose Discernment Counselling?
Feel the Difference
Clarity: Gain a clear understanding of your emotions and relationship dynamics
Confidence: Make informed decisions with guidance from a skilled counsellor
Respect: Explore differences in a compassionate, non-judgemental environment
Support: Navigate the emotional journey with care and structure
Ideal for Couples Who:
Feel stuck in indecision about whether to stay or leave
Have one partner leaning out and one leaning in
Need structure to evaluate the relationship without pressure
Meet Karl, Your Discernment Counsellor
Karl DeSouza, Director and Lead Psychotherapist at Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., has years of experience helping couples navigate life’s toughest decisions. His compassionate and culturally sensitive approach provides a safe space for couples to find clarity and move forward. Learn more about Karl here.
Take the First Step Today
Imagine walking away from confusion and stepping into clarity. At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., we’re here to guide you through this important journey.
Don’t let indecision hold you back. Book your Discernment Counselling session now and take control of your future. Book an appointment today and take the first step toward clarity, healing, and a brighter tomorrow.
How Is Discernment Counselling Different from Divorce Counselling?
Discernment Counselling and Divorce Counselling have distinct goals and approaches, tailored to meet couples and individuals at different stages of their relationship journey. Here’s how they differ:
We begin by exploring your relationship history, current challenges, and mutual goals. Whether you attend together or start with individual sessions, this phase focuses on creating emotional safety, so both partners feel heard, valued, and supported. We’ll look at triggers, emotional cycles, and protective strategies to understand what’s keeping you stuck.
- Discernment Counselling focuses on decision-making. It is for couples who are uncertain about the future of their relationship and need clarity on whether to reconcile, separate, or postpone a decision.
- Divorce Counselling supports individuals or couples who have already decided to separate. It provides guidance to heal, adjust, and rebuild life after the decision to divorce has been made. Learn more about Divorce Counselling here.
- Discernment Counselling helps couples explore their ambivalence, understand relationship dynamics, and identify each partner’s contributions to the current challenges. The focus is on gaining insight, not solving problems.
- Divorce Counselling addresses post-decision challenges such as coping with grief, building co-parenting strategies, and rediscovering personal identity. It equips clients with practical tools to move forward confidently.
- In Discernment Counselling, the emphasis is on creating a neutral and supportive space where both partners can explore their feelings and perspectives without judgement or pressure.
- Divorce Counselling focuses on processing emotions like grief, guilt, or anger, while helping clients rebuild their sense of self and work toward emotional resilience.
- Discernment Counselling helps couples decide on their next steps—whether to reconcile, separate, or delay the decision.
- Divorce Counselling works toward emotional recovery, creating healthy co-parenting relationships, and preparing for a hopeful future.
Specialised Couples and Marriage Counselling Services: Tackling Contributory Issues
Sometimes, the path forward isn’t clear. Our marital guidance services offer tools to help couples navigate communication breakdowns, resolve conflicts, and evaluate their options. Whether you’re working to reconcile with your partner or contemplating separation, we provide a safe, non-judgemental space to find clarity and healing.
For couples dealing with challenges such as infidelity, rebuilding trust is a significant part of the process. Our infidelity counselling sessions delve into the root causes of betrayal, helping you and your partner explore emotional wounds, rebuild trust, and create a stronger foundation for the future.
Relational issues like intimacy and emotional disconnection may also point to deeper concerns that need addressing. Our sex therapy services help couples explore and resolve challenges surrounding intimacy, fostering deeper understanding and connection.
Additionally, issues such as addiction—whether substance-related or behavioural—can create significant strain in relationships. Our addiction counselling sessions focus on understanding the root causes of addiction, supporting recovery, and helping couples address the impact on their relationship.
Using evidence-based approaches like the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), we address relational issues, including communication, conflict resolution, and shared goals. For those seeking to explore reconciliation, our marriage counselling services provide the space to rebuild trust and foster a healthier relationship dynamic.
Hence while discerning and deciding whether to stay or go it can be useful to address any underlying challenges like intimacy, sex or other addictions or infidelity, or traumas. Whatever the issue we’re here to support you every step of the way.
Therapy Approaches used during Marriage Counselling Sessions at Listening Ear Counselling
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., we know that no two couples are the same. That’s why our Discernment Counselling sessions are designed to be tailored to your unique needs, pace, and situation. There’s no “one-size-fits-all” approach; every session is a custom plan that reflects your emotional state, relationship dynamics, and individual challenges.
Here are the key approaches we use, each adapted to suit you:
EFCT explores the attachment patterns and emotional responses that underlie relationship distress. This approach helps uncover unmet emotional needs, fears, and cycles of disconnection between partners. EFCT helps partners understand each other’s emotional triggers and create secure emotional bonds.
The Gottman Method is a structured, research-based approach focuses on building friendship, managing conflict, and creating shared meaning in relationships. Using tools like the Gottman Relationship Checkup, couples identify strengths and growth areas, and work on improving communication, intimacy, and emotional regulation.
CBT helps partners identify and reframe negative thinking patterns that may contribute to conflict, emotional reactivity, or avoidance. It supports the development of practical tools to manage anxiety, set boundaries, and improve self-awareness in relationship dynamics.
For couples impacted by infidelity, prolonged conflict, or past emotional wounds, we integrate EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Brainspotting, and Somatic Experiencing. These methods allow for deep emotional processing in a safe, regulated way, helping to release trauma stored in the body and improve emotional regulation.
NVC promotes empathetic dialogue and honest expression of needs without blame or criticism. It helps couples replace destructive communication habits with compassionate listening and mutual respect—especially useful when tension is high and emotions are raw.
Mindfulness techniques such as breathing exercises, grounding practices, and emotion regulation strategies support couples in managing overwhelm, anxiety, and reactive patterns. These techniques help build present-moment awareness and foster calmness and clarity during difficult conversations.
Our therapeutic approach is always customised to your needs—whether you’re leaning in or out of the relationship. Each tool is introduced gently, at your pace, to support clarity, healing, and connection.
Our Discernment Counselling Fees
| Session Type | Investment | Additional Charges | Cancellation Policy |
|---|---|---|---|
| In-Person Sessions | SGD 250 | – SGD 50 after-hours surcharge -Transportation fees for out-of-office sessions or different venues | Reschedule or cancel with 36+ hours’ notice. Late changes or no-shows incur full session investment. |
| Virtual Sessions (Zoom) | SGD 200 (PayNow) SGD 250 (Other Methods) | – SGD 50 after-hours surcharge | Same as above. |
Why choose us for Discernment Counselling in Singapore
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., we understand that deciding the future of a relationship is one of the most challenging emotional decisions you can face. Our approach provides a neutral, compassionate, and structured space, allowing you to reflect and explore your feelings without judgement or pressure. Led by Karl deSouza, our sessions are designed to help couples gain clarity and confidence about their next steps.
Discernment Counselling requires an experienced counsellor who can guide you without influencing your decisions. At Listening Ear, Karl deSouza brings over 20 years of professional experience to create a judgement-free and empathetic environment. This ensures that:
- Both partners feel heard and respected, whether one is leaning out or the other is leaning in.
- The counselling process remains neutral, focusing on clarity rather than persuasion.
- Sessions provide the tools to regulate emotions, sift through complex feelings, and reflect on your unique perspectives.
Our goal is to help you explore your relationship dynamics, identify personal contributions, and consider the next steps—whether it’s staying together, separating, or postponing a decision.
As an Accredited Family Mediator with the Singapore Mediation Centre (SMC), Karl deSouza combines his expertise in legal, emotional, and relational dynamics to:
- Support you in navigating the practical challenges of decision-making, such as co-parenting and communication.
- Provide insights that prepare you for collaboration with legal professionals, should separation be the chosen path.
This holistic approach ensures that your emotional well-being and practical concerns are addressed simultaneously.
Discernment Counselling often intersects with deeply personal and emotional challenges. At Listening Ear, we draw on a range of evidence-based modalities to address:
- Infidelity Counselling and the complexities of rebuilding trust.
- Grief and loss Counselling that arise from relational transitions.
- Trauma and unresolved emotional wounds.
- Relational and physical disconnection, addressed through sex therapy.
With training in approaches such as The Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), and trauma-focused methods like EMDR, Brainspotting, and Somatic Experiencing, Karl ensures every session is tailored to meet your unique needs.
Singapore’s multicultural fabric shapes relationships in unique ways. Karl’s sensitivity to cultural values, family dynamics, and gender identities ensures that every client feels understood and respected. Coupled with his extensive life experience, he offers a nuanced perspective on the complex emotions and practical realities couples face when discerning their next steps.
Your comfort is our priority. At Listening Ear, we provide:
- A safe and confidential space for honest conversations.
- Flexible session options: in-person or via Zoom, with an SGD 50 discount for remote consultations.
Whether you’re at a crossroads or ready to make a decision, our support is tailored to meet your emotional and practical nee
Professionally Trained, Trauma-Informed & Culturally Attuned
Evidence-Based & Grounded in Real Life
Culturally Sensitive & Globally Informed
Respectful of Complex, Delicate Issues
Neutral, Non-Judgemental & Confidential Space
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What Clients Say About Us
Frequently Asked Questions
Discernment Counselling stands apart from traditional couples therapy by focusing on clarity and decision-making, rather than directly working on relationship repair. At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., we guide couples through a neutral, structured process to:
- Clarify intentions when one or both partners feel uncertain.
- Explore options, including reconciliation, separation, or postponing a decision.
- Understand each partner’s role in the current relationship challenges.
Unlike traditional therapy, which prioritises resolving issues and fostering intimacy, Discernment Counselling creates the space, support, and tools needed to make thoughtful and informed decisions.
Our counsellor, Karl deSouza, brings over 20 years of experience and a compassionate approach to help couples feel supported at every step of the journey.
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy, we pride ourselves on providing a safe, non-judgemental environment. Whether you prefer in-person sessions at our convenient Singapore clinic or online consultations, we’re here to offer the care and guidance you need.
Discernment Counselling is a short-term process, typically lasting 1 to 5 sessions. Each session is designed to provide value and clarity, giving couples the space to explore their emotions and options without pressure.
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy, every session is tailored to your unique situation, ensuring you gain insights and confidence in your choices. Learn more about how Karl deSouza can support your discernment journey.
Yes, you can attend Discernment Counselling on your own. Solo sessions allow you to:
- Gain clarity about your role in the relationship dynamics.
- Reflect on your emotions and contributions.
- Explore your options independently.
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy, we offer a safe and neutral space to help individuals navigate this process with compassion and understanding.
If you and your partner decide that separation or divorce is the best path, our counsellor, Karl deSouza, will help you plan a collaborative and respectful separation. This includes:
- Addressing co-parenting strategies if children are involved.
- Minimising conflict to ensure smoother transitions.
- Emotional support to navigate the challenges of uncoupling.
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy, we focus on helping you part ways with dignity while prioritising the well-being of your family.
Yes, free or subsidised Discernment Counselling services are available through the MSF Family Services Directory. These options can provide initial support for couples navigating ambivalence.
For tailored and specialised Discernment Counselling, Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy offers flexible and accessible support, including discounted Zoom sessions, to meet your needs.