Abuse - Balancing Safety with Care
It’s not just the addiction; it’s how it’s hurting you.
When Does Substance Use Become Abuse in Relationships?
In relationships where addiction is present, the line between distress and danger can become blurred. What may begin as emotional volatility or erratic behaviour can escalate into verbal, emotional, financial, or physical abuse. This impact is often minimised or explained away — yet the emotional toll on partners, children, and the home environment can be severe.
Addiction does not excuse abusive behaviour. And recovery alone does not automatically make abuse disappear. Recognising the signs early and prioritising safety is essential.
What Are the Warning Signs That Addiction Has Turned Dangerous?
Not every relationship affected by addiction is abusive. However, it’s important to take notice if patterns such as these begin to appear:
Physical aggression or threats
Emotional or verbal abuse (gaslighting, insults, guilt-tripping, intimidation)
Control and isolation (monitoring movements, restricting contact with others)
Financial abuse (withholding money, stealing funds to support substance use)
Fear-based behaviour where you feel unsafe, anxious, or constantly on edge
Over time, partners may begin doubting themselves, making excuses, or feeling trapped. Addiction doesn’t just affect the individual — it destabilises the entire relationship system.
What Should You Do If You Feel Unsafe Right Now?
If something feels off, trust that instinct. Your safety matters.
Practical steps that can help include:
Creating a safety plan (safe places, emergency contacts, trusted people)
Reaching out to support — friends, family members, or professional services
Speaking to a professional who can help assess risk and guide next steps
Understanding your legal options, including protection and support services
Why Addiction and Abuse Need to Be Addressed Together?
Addiction and abuse can sometimes exist within the same relationship, but they are not the same experience and should not be treated as one. In some situations, a person may struggle with addiction and engage in harmful behaviours. In others, someone may be living with abuse while also carrying their own trauma or substance use challenges. These realities are complex, and they rarely fit into a single narrative.
Because of this complexity, support often needs to consider both safety and emotional wellbeing, without assumptions or blame. Different forms of support may be involved, depending on the situation, when appropriate and safe to do so. This can include individual therapeutic work, trauma-informed approaches that recognise both addiction and relational harm, or additional external supports in more serious circumstances.
At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy, our role is not to tell you what to do or decide for you. Instead, we aim to offer a space for clarity, reflection, and understanding—so you can explore your situation at your own pace, with safety, dignity, and care at the centre.
How Do You Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty?
Setting boundaries with someone you love is difficult — especially when addiction is involved. But boundaries are not punishments. They are clarity about what is acceptable and what is not.
Helpful principles include:
Clear, direct communication
Specific consequences if boundaries are crossed
Supportive structures that prioritise accountability, not promises alone
If change does not occur despite effort and therapy, it’s valid to prioritise your own safety — including creating distance or an exit plan if needed.
Is Rebuilding the Relationship Ever Possible?
Rebuilding can be possible — but only when safety is established first.
Meaningful repair requires:
Full accountability from the person who caused harm
Consistent behavioural change over time
Therapeutic support for both individuals
Clear boundaries and evidence-based recovery efforts
The goal is not staying together at all costs — it’s being safe, respected, and supported, whether together or apart.
Our Counselling Fees
| Session Type | Investment | Additional Charges | Cancellation Policy |
|---|---|---|---|
| In-Person Sessions | SGD 250 | – SGD 50 after-hours surcharge -Transportation fees for out-of-office sessions or different venues – SGD 50 administrative fee may apply where additional insurance coordination or documentation is required | Reschedule or cancel with 36+ hours’ notice. Late changes or no-shows incur full session investment. |
| Virtual Sessions (Zoom) | SGD 250 (Advance PayNow Preferred Rate of SGD 200 may be offered on a case-by-case basis when payment is made using PayNow or direct Bank transfer at least 3 days in advance and no administrative work is required.) | – Same as above (where applicable) | Same as above. |
*For more information on session rates, cancellation policy, accepted payment methods, and other related details, please refer to our Fees and Payment Page*
What Clients say about our Counselling in Singapore
Professionally Trained, Trauma-Informed & Culturally Attuned
Evidence-Based & Grounded in Real Life
Culturally Sensitive & Globally Informed
Respectful of Complex, Delicate Issues
