Sex Therapy | Sexual Health Counselling

Sex counselling provides a safe, confidential, and supportive space to address deeply personal concerns related to intimacy, sexual health, and relationships. Here’s what you can typically expect in a session at Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd.:

1. Initial Assessment and Building Trust

• The first session focuses on understanding your concerns, history, and goals.
• The therapist may ask questions about your sexual health, relationship dynamics, past experiences, and expectations.
• This session is also an opportunity for you to share your story at your own pace, with no pressure.
• Trust and confidentiality are paramount, creating a non-judgmental environment where you feel safe to open up.

2. Education and Clarification

• Many issues arise from myths, misinformation, or lack of understanding about sexual health and intimacy.
• Your therapist will provide evidence-based education, demystifying topics like anatomy, sexual response cycles, or common challenges like mismatched libidos, performance anxiety, or body image concerns.
• Clarifying misconceptions can often relieve anxiety and open the door to solutions.

3. Exploring Emotional and Psychological Factors

• Emotional and psychological factors often play a significant role in intimacy challenges.
• Sessions may involve identifying and addressing issues such as shame, guilt, trauma, or unmet attachment needs.
• Techniques like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS) can help you explore your inner world and connect it to your sexual experiences.

4. Practical Strategies and Interventions

• Depending on your needs, the therapist may suggest practical exercises or tools.
• These might include communication techniques, mindfulness practices, or step-by-step methods to rebuild intimacy.
• Couples may practice “turning towards” moments or creating shared love maps, as inspired by Gottman principles.

5. Trauma-Informed Healing

• For clients dealing with trauma or past abuse, sessions may integrate somatic therapies like EMDR or Brainspotting.
• These approaches gently address stored trauma in the body, reducing triggers and fostering a sense of safety.

6. Focus on Collaboration

• Therapy is a partnership. Sessions are designed to move at your pace and align with your comfort level.
• Together with the therapist, you’ll explore what works for you, ensuring that solutions feel authentic and empowering.

7. Homework and Follow-Up

• Between sessions, the therapist may recommend exercises or reflections to deepen the work.
• For couples, this could include intimacy-building activities or communication exercises.
• Progress is regularly reviewed, ensuring therapy remains tailored to your evolving needs.

At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., every session is guided by respect, empathy, and expertise. Whether you’re addressing non-consummation, painful sex, low libido, or other concerns, Karl deSouza’s trauma-informed and culturally sensitive approach ensures you feel supported every step of the way.

The terms “sex therapist” and “sexologist” are often used interchangeably, but they refer to distinct roles with different areas of focus and training:

• • 1. Sex Therapist:

       • Focus: A sex therapist specialises in addressing the psychological, emotional, and relational aspects of sexual health. They often work with individuals and couples experiencing issues such as low libido, intimacy challenges, performance anxiety, or trauma that impacts their sexual well-being.
       • Approach: Sex therapists use counselling techniques, therapeutic interventions, and evidence-based modalities such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), or Somatic Therapy to explore the underlying emotional and psychological causes of sexual difficulties.
       • Training: They are licensed mental health professionals, such as psychologists, counsellors, or social workers, with additional certifications in sex therapy. Their work often involves creating a safe, confidential environment to discuss sensitive topics openly and address them collaboratively.
       • Limitations: They do not prescribe medication or provide medical interventions, instead focusing on holistic, talk-based approaches to improve sexual well-being.

    2. Sexologist:

       • Focus: A sexologist is a professional trained in the scientific study of human sexuality, including its biological, psychological, and cultural dimensions. Their work often includes research, education, and addressing physical concerns related to sexual health.
       • Approach: Sexologists may work in academic, medical, or educational settings. They provide education on sexual health topics and may collaborate with medical professionals to address issues such as hormonal imbalances, reproductive health, or sexual dysfunctions. Some sexologists also provide general advice and guidance to clients.
       • Training: They may have advanced degrees in fields such as human sexuality, biology, or public health. Clinical sexologists, who work directly with clients, often collaborate with medical doctors, gynaecologists, or urologists for physical concerns.
       • Scope: While some sexologists engage in counselling, they typically focus more on the physiological and scientific aspects of sexual health rather than the relational or emotional dynamics.

Key Difference:

• • • A sex therapist provides therapy to address the emotional, relational, and psychological factors affecting sexual health.
    • A sexologist studies and addresses the scientific and medical aspects of sexuality, often recommending medical treatments or conducting research.

In practice, many clients benefit from a collaborative approach where sex therapists and sexologists work together, ensuring both emotional and physical aspects of sexual health are comprehensively addressed.

Sex therapy and medicines like Viagra address different aspects of sexual health challenges, particularly erectile dysfunction.

• Sex Therapy: This focuses on the emotional, psychological, and relational factors that contribute to sexual difficulties. A sex therapist works with individuals and couples to address issues such as anxiety, performance pressure, past trauma, or communication challenges in relationships. By identifying the root causes and creating strategies for emotional healing and connection, sex therapy offers a holistic and long-term approach to improving sexual intimacy and satisfaction.

• Medicines like Viagra: These are medical treatments specifically designed to address the physical causes of erectile dysfunction, such as poor blood flow to the penis. Viagra and similar medications enhance blood circulation, helping achieve and maintain an erection. However, they do not address the emotional or psychological aspects that might also be affecting sexual performance.

Why Combine Both?

For some, combining both approaches can be most effective. While Viagra can provide immediate physical relief, sex therapy can help address the deeper emotional and relational challenges that may contribute to sexual difficulties. It’s important to consult a qualified medical professional, such as a urologist, to evaluate any physiological issues before exploring sex therapy for a comprehensive treatment plan.

Important Disclaimer

We are not medical doctors and do not prescribe medication. If you suspect a physiological issue such as erectile dysfunction, it is crucial to first consult a qualified urologist or medical professional. Once medical concerns are addressed, sex therapy can provide additional support to improve overall intimacy and emotional connection.

At Listening Ear Counselling & Consultancy Pte. Ltd., we are not medical doctors, and we strongly recommend consulting a qualified urologist first to rule out any physiological or medical conditions causing erectile dysfunction (ED). A thorough medical evaluation can help identify physical issues that might require specific treatments.

Here’s a general overview of available erectile dysfunction treatments in Singapore:

1. Consultation with a Urologist (Recommended First Step):
   Urologists are specialists who can diagnose and treat physiological causes of ED, such as diabetes, hormonal imbalances, or blood flow issues. They may recommend oral medications like Sildenafil (Viagra), Tadalafil (Cialis), or Vardenafil (Levitra), which improve blood flow and help with erections.

2. Psychological Support:
   If stress, anxiety, trauma, or relationship difficulties are contributing to ED, working with a sex therapist or counsellor can help. Our trauma-informed approach focuses on addressing emotional barriers, rebuilding confidence, and improving intimacy.

3. Lifestyle Modifications:
   Regular exercise, a balanced diet, weight management, and stress reduction can positively affect erectile function. Quitting smoking and reducing alcohol consumption may also help improve symptoms.

4. Hormone Therapy:
   If low testosterone is a contributing factor, your doctor may recommend hormone replacement therapy. Always seek advice from a licensed medical professional for this treatment.

5. Medical Devices and Advanced Treatments:
   For cases where other interventions are not effective, urologists may recommend vacuum erection devices, penile injections, or even surgical options like penile implants. These are typically reserved for more severe or refractory cases.

Disclaimer

We are not medical doctors and cannot prescribe medications or recommend medical devices. Always consult a licensed urologist to determine the most appropriate medical treatment for your specific condition. Our role is to provide emotional, psychological, and relational support if ED is affecting your confidence, intimacy, or relationships.

By working with both medical and therapeutic professionals, you can achieve a holistic approach to addressing ED effectively.

The duration of sex therapy varies greatly depending on the individual or couple’s specific concerns, goals, and the complexity of the issues at hand. Generally, some clients may notice improvements after just a few sessions, while others may require more time to address deeply rooted challenges or patterns.

Factors that influence the timeline include:

1. Nature of the Issue

   • For physical concerns like performance anxiety or communication issues, results may be noticeable within a few sessions, as clients learn specific techniques or strategies.
   • For deeper issues such as trauma, long-standing relationship difficulties, or low self-esteem, therapy may take longer to produce significant change.

2. Client Engagement

   • Clients who actively engage in therapy, complete assignments (e.g., Sensate Focus exercises), and communicate openly with their therapist often see quicker progress.
   • Commitment to making changes outside therapy sessions is also a key factor.

3. Frequency of Sessions

   • Weekly or bi-weekly sessions often facilitate faster progress compared to less frequent visits. The consistency allows for sustained focus and practice of new skills.

4. Underlying Health Factors

   • If medical conditions like hormonal imbalances or erectile dysfunction are contributing to the issue, therapy may need to work in tandem with medical interventions, potentially extending the timeline.

5. Therapist’s Approach

   • Evidence-based approaches such as CBT, EMDR, or EFT can accelerate progress by targeting specific emotional or relational challenges.
   • A trauma-informed or somatic therapy approach may take more time but ensures a safe, sustainable path to healing.

6. Individual or Relationship Dynamics

   • Couples addressing communication or mismatched libidos may take time to rebuild trust and connection.
   • Similarly, individuals grappling with shame, guilt, or past trauma may need more sessions to fully explore and process these feelings.

While there is no “one-size-fits-all” timeline, a typical therapy course might range from 8 to 12 sessions for many common concerns. However, some clients prefer to continue therapy for ongoing support and growth even after initial issues are resolved.

Ultimately, the goal of sex therapy is not just to see immediate results but to foster long-term improvements in intimacy, trust, communication, and overall well-being. A therapist will work collaboratively with you to set realistic expectations and timelines tailored to your unique situation.

No, sex therapy is not exclusively for couples. While many people seek sex therapy to address relationship and intimacy issues within a partnership, individuals can also benefit significantly from sex therapy to explore and resolve personal concerns related to their sexual health and well-being.

Here’s how sex therapy can help both individuals and couples:

For Individuals

1. Personal Sexual Health

   • Address concerns such as low libido, difficulty achieving orgasm, or painful sex (e.g., vaginismus, dyspareunia).
   • Work through issues like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation.

2. Emotional and Psychological Aspects

   • Explore feelings of shame, guilt, or anxiety related to sex.
   • Heal from past traumas, such as sexual abuse or negative experiences.

3. Self-Exploration and Identity

   • Understand and embrace one’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or sexual preferences.
   • Develop a deeper sense of self-confidence and self-worth.

4. Cultural and Social Influences

   • Navigate cultural, religious, or societal expectations around sexuality.
   • Work through body image issues or internalised stigmas.

5. Addiction and Compulsive Behaviours

   • Address compulsive sexual behaviours, pornography use, or sexual addictions in a safe and non-judgmental space.

For Couples

1. Intimacy and Connection

   • Rebuild physical and emotional intimacy in the face of mismatched libidos, infidelity, or life changes.

2. Communication Skills

   • Improve how partners talk about their needs, boundaries, and desires, fostering mutual understanding and respect.

3. Specific Sexual Issues

   • Work through difficulties like non-consummation, painful sex, or performance anxiety.
   • Address how external factors, such as infertility, parenting, or stress, may affect intimacy.

4. Shared Goals and Growth

   • Build shared dreams and improve relationship satisfaction through Gottman-informed techniques or Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).

Who Can Benefit from Sex Therapy?

• Singles or individuals navigating their own sexual health, identity, or trauma.
• Partners in long-term relationships experiencing changes in their intimacy.
• LGBTQ+ individuals or couples addressing unique challenges.
• Polyamorous relationships or those exploring consensual non-monogamy.
• People at different life stages, including menopause, postpartum, or after medical diagnoses.

Sex therapy is designed to meet the unique needs of each individual or relationship dynamic, making it a versatile and supportive resource for anyone seeking to enhance their sexual and relational well-being.